SIR PAUL...

God only knows what was so funny... My shirt probably

"Like" this? No I don't "Like" this.

That's what I thought as I posted my comment on Newstalk ZB's condolence page.

While I pushed that iconic blue thumbs-up button, I was listening to an endless stream of tributes being read out on air for another icon. Various announcers reminisced. Callers told stories of the times they met him. Archival audio of the man himself was replayed. News bulletins were swamped with more quotes and I was lost.

Lost in my own memories of the man who affected so, so many. A man who affected me personally, in ways I'm only just beginning to appreciate now, as I reflect on our time together.

Where to begin? I'll cheat by starting with a little piece I wrote for the Herald On Sunday, the weekend before he died...

"Paul World. That's how I've always described it to other people. When you're around him, you're visiting Paul World; a place where reality isn't nearly as important as having a good time.

I started working with Paul in August of 2001, around the time Christine Rankin lost her big case and I almost lost her big interview seconds before we were due to go to air.

I was panicking. Paul wasn't. He would have found something to say - he always does.

Then September happened and the attacks happened and we rushed in early to broadcast the fall of the Twin Towers to the nation. Steep learning curve ... for all of us.

For the next 8 years, it was my privilege to visit Paul World for three hours or so each morning, watching the master at work, learning from the man who turned New Zealand broadcasting on its head.

He never looked at things through the eyes of a journalist, or a presenter, or a celebrity. He only ever saw things as a human being. So he made human mistakes from time to time, but they were far outshone by the human emotions he shared with us every day.

If Sir Paul taught me one thing, it's to be silly whenever possible. If you thought the radio shows were entertaining, you should have seen our debrief meetings afterwards; daily laugh-fests featuring opinions, language, jokes and impersonations we could never have broadcast but I'll never forget."

 - Herald On Sunday Online, January 27, 2013

A few meagre lines that barely scratch the surface. In fact, even if I wrote all day and into the night, I wouldn't make much of a dent. In the days and weeks to come, there'll be so many tributes and memories - perhaps too many for some. Perhaps, like all really big stories, there'll be a burn-out factor and people will grow tired of hearing about it. Not me though, because as painful as these stories are for me to hear, every one is different. It seems like everyone knew a different side of Paul - and when I say everyone, it certainly seems like almost everyone had had something to do with him at some time or another.

That was one of Paul's big problems of course, he found it very hard to say no. If it was a good cause, if it was a favour for a friend, if he thought it would benefit his employers or his profile, he'd be there. I mean, he even hosted the Pie Awards for god's sake! For years. He didn't have to, but he was asked to and he did it, and in his usual style, helped transform a party for the country's best pies into a genuine red-carpet event.

Don't get me wrong, no-one values the importance of a good pie more than me, but the pie awards probably don't quite warrant the high level of media excitement it attracts every year. That's how life was once Paul was involved though; bigger, brighter and better than actual reality.

In fact, over the years I came to the conclusion Paul wasn't that interested in other people's realities, he'd just merrily make up his own. As realities go, Paul World wasn't a bad one. The little guys had a voice there. Politicians were forced to answer questions they really didn't want to. Sometimes you even uncovered the real truth and sometimes, actually, more often than just sometimes, Paul made a real difference in people's lives.

Occasionally it might be someone he knew, more often it was just a stranger - a stranger with a story to share and boy could Paul spin a story.

Not long before the end, Paul was quoted as saying people don't remember the cruel man, they only remember the kind man. That's why he will be so WIDELY remembered, so fondly by so many. Surely that's what it's all about isn't it? Affecting as many others as you can for the better? It's a pretty short stop we're given on this planet, and Sir Paul's was a lot shorter than most, but what other New Zealander made such a meaningful impact on so many other kiwis?

We fondly recount the achievements of the likes of Sir Edmund Hillary, David Lange and Sir Peter Blake - but they were never as omnipresent in our lives as Paul. Always on our TV's, raving out of our radios, all over our papers and right there, in person - meeting us, laughing and crying with us - mostly enjoying just being one of us.

He was quite insane, of course - I've never met anyone of genuine talent who isn't. That's why he needed people like Deborah around, to keep him from spinning off into space completely. Before Deborah of course there was the REAL love of his life, Grumpy.

To have worked with an entity like Paul Holmes for as long as I did was an absolute honour. To have shared most of that time with Phil Armstrong, (Paul's producer for 2 decades) was a once in a lifetime learning opportunity of inestimable value. It's been said Paul's great strength was knowing exactly what the common man was thinking. Perhaps Grumpy's great strength was knowing what the others were up to - the people who put themselves ABOVE the common man, those with agendas and schemes and secrets and lies.

Between them, Paul and Phil saw all, and between them, usually on their frequent fag breaks during the news, they were able to distil precious truth from the bubbling cauldron of hype, publicity and spin.

I was a late onto the scene, just a naive pretender really. The moment I'd get too carried away with myself Paul would immediately put me in my place with, "What would you know? You've only been here 5 minutes." Usually this would happen on air with the entire country listening. Even after 5 YEARS, he'd still say exactly the same thing. He was right of course, by then I'd STILL done nothing while he and Grumpy had seen it all.

I don't think he ever really considered himself a celebrity, he was too in awe of them to think he was one himself. Oh, he loved to play up to the role of celeb, but there was always an underlying humility that made his "lifestyles of the rich and famous" pretences a little TOO obvious. How he would have loved to have starred in a movie with Charlize Theron, or written thrillers like Jeffery Deaver's. He poured all those creative impulses into his psuedo-serial World City of course, a cult radio classic for the ages.

If you're wondering if there was a secret, private side to Paul, there wasn't. He didn't just wear his heart on his sleeve, he unashamedly displayed all the other bits there too. He'd invite me the Domestic Manager round to watch the rugby, just like anyone would. We were at his wedding - we didn't have to be famous, we just had to be his friends. I spent quite a while trying to teach him how to use his iPod. I failed, but he seemed impressed enough by my music collection to call on me whenever he needed the perfect playlist for something.

For some reason this involved a last minute dash across the city one night when he had to have just the right songs. I'm not sure Paul's the man you'd want driving you on a last minute dash - he drove like he was Paul Holmes or something.

Actually, that's how he did it everything; full speed around every corner, jump in or get the hell out of the way.

Now he's taken one bend too fast, landed upside on one too many deer fences, asked himself one final question he didn't really have the answer for... and I miss him. I feel a terrible sense of loss and the more tributes I hear, read and watch from more and more people, the more that sense of loss takes over.

So many stories. So many stories. Some I'd heard from Paul himself. Many I was hearing for the first time. The majority I'll never hear again.

I spent a long time with Paul and his stories - longer than most, but it wasn't enough. Death has cheated us all and as usual, it's not Paul we feel sorry for but ourselves because he won't be there for us any longer. 

Paul hasn't appeared after the 6am news for some time, but now I know he'll no longer be appearing anywhere, I miss him so much more.

The last day of the Paul Holmes Breakfast
(That's not Grumpy by the way, it's Producer Tolich)