"There must be an app for that."
You hear those words every day and more often than not, there is.
My phone is a Nokia Lumia 800, and it's very smart indeed. It has the interweb. It has my email. It has Twitter, Facebook and Youtube. It knows some people in my email address book also like me on Facebook. Not only that, it knows some of those people follow me on Twitter too. It's very good at making those sorts of connections - something I'd never be able to keep straight in my head.
I used to get lost when people gave me directions. Now my phone tells me how to get there... and how to get home again. I used to forget the odd appointment. Now my day's calendar appears right there on my lock screen.
I wonder what the weather will be like next Thursday? There's an app for that. I wonder how many km's my run is? There's an app for that. I wonder what my father-in-law and his wife would look like if they swapped heads? Yes, there's actually an app that does that too. I've used it. It's hilarious. But it's quite disturbing too, and not just because you should never transplant your father-in-law's head on someone else's body.
The really disturbing thing is, I didn't even have to use my imagination. I just downloaded the app and it did it.
I'm a big fan of not thinking. Especially after about 11am. I'm just too tired by then. That's when my Nokia really kicks into gear. It can do all my thinking for me, you see. It can tell me exactly the right time to go to bed and how long I should stay asleep. My phone now knows what I should eat, when and where. And what, when and where my friends will be eating today too.
Oh, and when I say friends... I'm pretty sure they're real people. I mean, I've never met them or anything but they seem to like me and we have heaps in common... Whoever they are. Wherever they are. I wonder what they look like? I'm sure there's an app to generate a portrait of them.
That'd be great. Then I could use an app to mix up a collage of them all and with this other app I've got, I can upload them into the cloud so they can all see themselves.
Is there anything there isn't an app for yet? I doubt it. Maybe there's an app that helps you come up with ideas for new apps. Again, thinking... creativity... ingenuity... so last century.
There must be an app to remind people to turn off their bloody phones when the go to the movies, the theatre or the gym, or is there a self-perpetuating app rule that prevents that kind of negative phone non-use?
Speaking of people at the theatre, next time you go, count the number of patrons fiddling with their phones right up to the moment the lights go down. I guess the people they came with aren't nearly as interesting as the ones who they're chatting with from somewhere else.
Why did they bother coming at all? Surely they could've just streamed it online. Or better still, watched the show as it was performed on Broadway when it opened. That'd save driving into town and looking for a park - if you haven't downloaded a good carparking app that is.
Is there a Number 8 Wire app, just for us here in New Zealand? Hang on, I'll look it up... ...Believe it or not, there's not. Oh my god, I think I just had an actual idea; Number 8 Wire, the app you use when you can't quite find the actual app you need. How come my phone didn't think of that for me?
Maybe that's coming in the next upgrade.
No comments:
Post a Comment