PERHAPS THE MOST SUCCESSFUL PROMOTION EVER

I think you're already familiar with today's subject matter

You already know what I'm talking about; the New World Little Shop promotion.

Have you got the Cheesy Sausages yet? If not, do you want to trade, because we've got two.

Not since the days of Nintendo 64, Furbys and Cabbage Patch Kids have we seen our children so utterly and effectively brainwashed by mere advertising - and the difference here is the primary product isn't even what the kids are after.

When I say kids, of course I mean EVERYBODY. Admit it, you want the whole set of these things just as much as anyone else, which is a major bummer for you if you don't have any children, because collecting miniature grocery items as an adult could seem a bit weird.

The main problem for the glennzb household is we don't shop at New World. We shop at Pak'N'Save, partly because it's a bit cheaper, but mostly because it's on my way home from work.

This did not sit well with Monster Number 2. Not well at all. Weekly grocery savings and a convenient location hold no sway with a 9 year-old whose friends have all collected at least half of New World's Little Shop already. She started to take my persistent Pak'N'Save preference personally, almost as though I was punishing her for something.

Now I think of it, I should have told her that's exactly what I was doing. Monster Number 2 deserves to punished regularly. For 9 years she's been carrying out a series of guerrilla-style attacks at various strategic locations throughout the house, ranging from low-grade semi-political graffiti on items of furniture right through to a brutal campaign of psychological warfare which is relentless and still ongoing.

Some kind of retribution only seems fair.

However, in this case I was not deliberately depriving her of access to her rightful mini-grocery collection. It's just the way it was.

Just like in the days of prohibition though, there's more than one way to open the lines of supply.

Turns out my sister-in-law DOES shop at New World, and had amassed quite a number of tiny tins, packets and bottles. Monster Number 2's eyes practically popped out when she discovered them piled up on her kitchen window sill. What's more, they appeared to be just sitting there, not being collected by anyone!

That was all about to change. Immediately. By the time M#2 had left her auntie's house, she'd acquired her first cache of miniatures and made arrangements for a regular mailbox drop directly following any future New World shopping expeditions.

Of course, once she realised she could source these things without actually having to go to the supermarket herself, a whole new strategy swung into gear. Suddenly parcels were arriving from far-flung grandparents. Small bags of coffee and weirdly not-to-scale pineapples were being handed to nanas to be delivered from other distant relatives. M#2 was back in the Little Shop game and she was raking it in.

Like heroine, it turns out mini groceries are an addiction that must be constantly maintained, or serious withdrawal symptoms can hit, and hit hard. This meant daily mailbox checks to see if auntie had fulfilled her hastily agreed-to drop-off obligations. Of course more often than not, auntie hadn't been around, which led to M#2 bouncing out the front door in anticipation, only to return moments later shrouded in the dark clouds only an empty letterbox can induce.

So I caved. Don't worry, I still shop at Pak'N'Save, but some of my colleagues have started supplying ME with minis, so I've been bunging them in the box instead. I know, what a softie. Let's just keep that between us, okay?

Oh, and for god's sake, don't tell her she can win the whole set on the Mike Hosking Breakfast, I don't want to have to explain how family members are not allowed to enter.

Nothing like receiving a package in the mail